I would have thought this was a Modern Humorist hoax—The International Federation of Competitive Eating–were it not for an IFOCE-sanctioned burrito-eating contest I happened to attend a few days ago in Tribeca. As the burritos disappeared down the gullets of a half-dozen competitive, uhm, eaters, the crowd boozily chanted “Eat! Eat! Eat!”, and a guy next to me shouted to his girlfriend, “America’s a great country!” One of the eaters, as well as his “cornermen,” wore a T-shirt that said “The Doginator.” Another eater (what should one call these people?) was the famous Edward “Cookie” Jarvis, who ate one gallon and nine ounces of vanilla ice cream in twelve minutes last October. The winner, Eric “Badlands” Booker, a corrections officer from Philadelphia, turned out to be a charming fellow and, unsurprisingly, stupendously large of girth, into which he packed more than a dozen burritos in eight minutes.